The End of the Road

It will never cease to amaze me how one single day can have so many ups and downs. How so many emotions can be felt within a matter of hours, or sometimes even mintues.

Those who know me best are keenly aware of my already emotional nature. To be completely honest, sometimes it drives me batty that I can laugh one minute and then cry the next. And I am often carried away by my emotions. (I am learning that there are times when it's a good thing that I feel so deeply. But I have to be cautious about being ruled by my feelings too.)

Today my emotions got taken for quite a ride. To start out with as I was driving to drop off Meg and then on my way to work, I remember feeling thankful that I was not one of many cars that I saw in the ditch due to poor driving conditions. And yet, as I pulled into work and went running to the time clock, only to punch in a minute late, I was griping instead of being thankful that I had made it safe and sound. But it's funny, now that I think about it, because as I was driving, I remember thinking how it could only take a second, and I could get into a wreck and then nothing else that was going on in my life would matter because my life could be over just that quickly. But I'll come back to that.....

As the morning went on, I found that I was very much enjoying myself talking with the people that I work with, and just being thankful that I have work to do and a good place to do that work in. Then the worry of driving again in poor conditions. Next stop is picking up the kids and laughing my head off at a silly friend. Then comes a call where I get my rear end chewed off for nothing. And tears, streaming down my face from the sadness that turn into tears of gratitude when I hear a song that reminds me of God's unending and undeserved love for me. And then the tears of sadness again as thoughts of how I want my life to be enter the picture. And still crying, I pull up to the mailbox, find a Christmas card from a "Secret Santa" who has sent an unexpected gift, at which time the tears change from tears of sadness to tears of utter thankfulness. (By the way, I pray that whoever the Secret Santa may be, and all of the people who have helped me out in so many ways will be blessed immeasurably!) Later still, as I am shoveling, I am heavy-hearted at the thought of bearing burdens alone.

But then a moment of clarity comes, and I am reminded of a chapter in Ecclesiastes that my mom had suggested that I read. Chapter 9 verses 7,10,11, and 12 say this: "Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for it is now that God favors what you do. Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave, where you are going, there is neither working or planning nor knowledge nor wisdom. I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all. Moreover, no man knows when his hour will come..."

That last verse is the a truth we all have to face. There will be an end of the road. No question about it. And all of the things that happen in a given day are just the twists and turns that occur in any road. The most important thing, I have come to realize, is that no matter what each bend in the road brings, it's how I deal with it that matters. I want to take each moment and live it to the fullest, whether I'm laughing or crying, loving or angry, or anything in between. Because each moment is a gift, and I can choose to see all the good God has given me no matter what my situation is. My greatest desire is that I hope that people will see by what God has done in my life that there is a Father in Heaven who wants to know them and love them too. And that the end of this road really is only the beginning....