Pass It On

Last night, I had choir practice. On the way to the church, my daughter asked me to pray for something for her. In order to understand her request, I have to give a tiny bit of detail. On her birthday, she had received some money from family. Part of it she wanted to donate to the National Wildlife Federation to help animals that are endangered. So we did that. She received a stuffed animal and a picture of a wolf that she had "adopted". She named him Buddy. :o) So, back to last night. As we were driving, she said, "Mom, can you please pray that God keeps Buddy safe?". I said that I would, but she was crying. When I asked her to tell me what was making her sad, she said that she was scared that something would happen to Buddy. To which I answered, "God knows where he is, and He will take care of him". And then, out of the mouths of babes..... she replied, "But, Mom, God takes care of us, and we still have bad things happen to us!". I sat there stunned for a minute, or maybe two or three..... I mean, hello, she's 10!!!!!!!! When I finally could find my voice again, I told her that yes, she was right, that bad things do still happen to us. And then I told her that Isaiah 55:8 & 9 says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." I went on to explain that if God allows something in our lives, even if it's something that we don't understand, God has a purpose for it. I continued by telling her that whatever we go through that God will bring good out of it, and will make Himself known to other people because of what He is doing in our lives.

Later in the evening and throughout this morning, I was thinking about what I had said to her. I had to ask myself if I have really been living what I believe. If I am honest, I would have to say no. Because the ugly truth is that I have been angry with my husband, but also angry with God because He allowed the fighting and the separation and the very rocky road that I have travelled since then. Now before I go any further, let me just clarify that I in no way believe that I have a right to be angry with God. I am just a human being and I have feelings that I have to learn how to deal with. And in no way is God responsible for how I react to things. After much prayer, I finally allowed God to remove the blinders from my eyes. The truth is that God is allowing this to happen because He loves me and the kids, and my husband. We are going through this because God has a plan, and when it is carried out, people will see how good God really is! Psalm 40:1-3 says, "I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord."

This is what I have come to understand about God. He is better to me than I could ever deserve. He chooses to give me good things even though I turn away from Him. And even when I go through difficult times, He brings me through them for a specific reason. Psalm 40:4 & 5 says, "Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust; who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods. Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to decalare." Who am I to judge what God is doing in my life? Do I have His understanding? Can I see what He sees? No way!!!! Do I think that I can do a better job at running my life than He can? I used to think so, but now, not so much! The bottom line is this: it's not really about me anyway!!!!! It's about people seeing the work that God is doing in me and my family.... and knowing that whatever the result of this situation that people that I love will see and know that God and only God could do these amazing things!!! I don't want to be me-centered anymore! I just want to let God do His thing in my life! That is the secret to peace in life. Trusting God and letting go of what we want, knowing that what He has for us is so very much better! Pass it on!!!!!!!!!!!!! :o)